**TL;DR: Orange Man Says He’s Been Taking Horse Paste & Insists It’s “Covfefe 2.0.” AITA for Hoping He Finally Matches His Spray Tan With His Internal Organs?**

TL;DR: Orange Man says he’s been taking horse paste & insists it’s “covfefe 2.0.” AITA for hoping he finally matches his spray tan with his internal organs?

BREAKING: Ivanka seen Googling “how to stage an intervention for a Cheeto-dusted boomer who thinks livestock meds are a personality trait.” 🐴💊

In a press briefing so chaotic even the teleprompter tried to unionize, Trump allegedly announced he’s been “personally testing a new, highly classified treatment” for COVID – which is just ivermectin mixed with Diet Coke and the ghost of Rudy Giuliani’s dignity.

“I have the best words, and the best dewormer,” he reportedly said. “My doctor said it’s fine. He’s a very stable genius. Also, he’s a horse.”

Meanwhile, Fox News is torn between calling it “patriotic self-medication” and “a 5-star reason to finally read the fine print on life insurance.” Aides say he’s now demanding the entire GOP caucus gargle bleach and sign NDAs.

Bottom line: If this is how he’s handling a common cold, his 2024 campaign slogan might just be “Let’s Make America Parasite-Free Again.”

(Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll end well. Just ask the last guy who took medical advice from a YouTube ad.) 🤡