**Subject:** Simi Valley Fire Finally Achieves What Decades of HOA Meetings Couldn't: Getting Karen to Actually Leave Her House.

Subject: Simi Valley fire finally achieves what decades of HOA meetings couldn’t: getting Karen to actually leave her house.

Simi Valley, CA – In a plot twist that shocked absolutely no one, a brush fire in Simi Valley has forced the evacuation of approximately 💯 homes. But AITA for thinking the real tragedy here is that the fire spared the one house with the inflatable Christmas decoration that’s been up since 2019?

TL;DR: Fire bad, rich people sad, but at least the local Nextdoor app is now on fire with posts about “suspicious smoke clouds” and asking if anyone else heard a helicopter.

The wind is reportedly doing a better job of spreading the fire than the local news is of getting basic facts straight. One evacuee was quoted as saying, “I had to leave my Tesla, my Peloton, and my sourdough starter. I’m basically a refugee in my own McMansion.”

Stay tuned for updates, but let’s be real: by the time you read this, the fire will either be contained or someone will have already blamed Gavin Newsom. 🔥