**Man Opens Fire at San Diego IHOP Because His Pancakes Were "Mid" — Now He's Facing 15 Years**
Man Opens Fire at San Diego IHOP Because His Pancakes Were “Mid” — Now He’s Facing 15 Years
AITA for thinking this guy actually had a point?
SAN DIEGO, CA — In what locals are calling “the most on-brand San Diego tragedy ever,” a 34-year-old man allegedly opened fire inside an IHOP in Mission Valley after his stack of buttermilk pancakes failed to meet his “artisanal breakfast standards.”
The suspect, identified only as “Chad” (obviously), reportedly told police that the pancakes were “dry, lukewarm, and lacked the aesthetic of a $22 avocado toast.” He then allegedly pulled a legally purchased handgun and fired three shots into the ceiling, screaming, “THIS IS FOR ALL THE BRUNCH BROTHERS WHO CAME BEFORE ME!”
No one was injured, but a nearby influencer suffered emotional distress after her matcha latte was “ruined by the vibrations.”
The IHOP manager, clearly traumatized, told reporters, “Sir, this is a Waffle House-level of chaos, but with less charm.”
Look, I get it. Pancake disappointment is real. But maybe next time just leave a 1-star Yelp review like a normal, unhinged person?
TL;DR: Man commits felony because his pancakes were giving “Denny’s at 3 AM” energy. Chili’s is now offering gun safety classes for their Triple Dipper enthusiasts.
#SanDiego #PancakeGate #SecondAmendmentCasserole #BrunchCultureIsDead