**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

‘GLITCH IN THE MATRIX’? RED LOBSTER TALLAHASSEE CLOSES—BUT RECEIPTS FROM 1995 CONTINUE TO PRINT INSIDE

TALLAHASSEE, FL – The abrupt closure of the Red Lobster on Apalachee Parkway has taken a bizarre turn that has local tech analysts and paranormal investigators in a deadlock.

Employees who locked the doors last Friday reported an eerie anomaly: The store’s ancient, dot-matrix receipt printers spontaneously began running at 3:33 AM each night—printing orders for Cheddar Bay Biscuits and endless shrimp from a single date: October 12, 1995.

“It’s like the restaurant’s operating system got stuck in a time loop,” said Carla Dennings, a data forensics expert called to the scene. “Every printout has the same time stamp, same order numbers, and the same customer name—a ‘G. Gordon’—who allegedly never picked up their takeout. There are 28 years of duplicate tickets piling up in the locked manager’s office.”

But the glitch gets stranger. When analysts checked the store’s financial logs from 1995, they found that exact order was mysteriously refunded in cash—but the money was never taken out of the register. The internal inventory system shows the shrimp and biscuits were “served,” yet the kitchen was closed for renovations that week.

“This isn’t a software bug,” said Dennings, holding up a wet, chewed receipt found in the dumpster. “This is a persistence error. Someone ordered a meal that didn’t exist, paid with money that wasn’t there, and the universe is still trying to deliver it.”

The chain has declined comment, but a source claims all Cheddar Bay Biscuit mix from this location has been quar