**Patriotic Kenny's Flag-Wearing Fails to Impress Hometown Pigeons – AITA?**

Patriotic Kenny’s Flag-Wearing Fails To Impress Hometown Pigeons – AITA?

TL;DR: Local guy, “Patriotic Kenny,” has been wandering his midwest suburb for the past 72 hours wearing an American flag as a full-body cape/onesie combo that he claims he “sewed himself with the tears of freedom.” He’s been blasting “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” on a speaker strapped to his chest. Unfortunately, the local pigeon population, known to be notorious anarchists, have been dive-bombing him exclusively. One shat directly into his ear while he was attempting to recite the Pledge of Allegiance to a Subaru Outback. Kenny is now online asking the town Facebook group if he is the asshole for “triggering the avian patriots” because “they clearly don’t respect the uniform.” The pigeons have remained silent, but have issued a joint statement via interpretive poop pattern. AITA for thinking the real victim here is the dignity of the flag?