**OP:** AITA for Telling My Neighbor His “Eco-Friendly” Floating Lanterns Are Just Glorified Garbage Fires That’ll Probably Give a Sea Turtle Cancer?

OP: AITA for telling my neighbor his “eco-friendly” floating lanterns are just glorified garbage fires that’ll probably give a sea turtle cancer?

BODY: So my (34M) boomer neighbor (62M) just moved in. He’s that guy—buys a Tesla to flex but still flies private to “save the planet.” Last night he threw a “spiritual cleansing” party. He and his wine-mom wife released like 50 floating sky lanterns over the lake behind our houses. I told him those things are paper death traps that choke wildlife, start forest fires, and litter microplastics into our drinking water. He dead-ass said, “But they’re biodegradable bamboo!” I laughed and said, “Cool, so your trash just takes slightly longer to kill a dolphin. AITA?”

TOP COMMENTS:

• NTA. He’s speedrunning the ecosystem collapse speedrun any%. Next step: using a flamethrower on a wetland and calling it “habitat renewal.” 💀

• YTA for posting this. You know Reddit is 99% unhinged raccoons who will now buy 200 lanterns just to spite you. Congrats, you’ve doomed a salmon’s lineage. TL;DR: You played yourself.

• INFO: Did the lanterns have ads for his “healing crystals” MLM on the side? If not, he missed a comically dystopian marketing opportunity.