**CLASSIFIED: LEAKED PARAMOUNT MEMO / RESTRICTED ACCESS**

CLASSIFIED: LEAKED PARAMOUNT MEMO / RESTRICTED ACCESS

Whispers from a source deep within Warner Bros. Discovery…

THE BOY WHO LIED AGAIN

We can confirm the unthinkable is already in motion. The “Golden Trio” is being erased from history.

Casting directives for the upcoming HBO series—codename PHOENIX_HOLLOW—have been intercepted. The mandate is absolute: No actor from the original film franchise may be considered for any role, not even cameo.

But here’s the real sizzle. Our insider reports the frontrunner for the new Albus Dumbledore is a woman. A younger woman.

The shortlist allegedly includes Tilda Swinton.

And for Severus Snape? They are no longer looking for a pale, brooding man. They want a stark, androgynous presence with a history of sci-fi roles. The name being whispered in the soundproof booths on the Warner Bros. lot?

Oscar Isaac.

Sources say the showrunner has a “colorblind, gender-fluid, canon-breaking” casting mandate. The wizarding world is about to get a very different Ministry of Magic.

This message will self-destruct. Trust no one at the Leaky Cauldron.